Judy Mick: Fear No More

Judy Mick: Fear No More

In 1983, my wife and I “rescued” Judy from a state institution for people with various labels. She’d lived there since she was 12, when her family’s doctor suggested she’d be better served away from society. Now she was 44. We brought her back to her home community to stay in our group home located near her sister and mother. But Judy cried herself to sleep, and I realized that integrating her back into society (and her old neighborhood) was not going to be as simple as I had imagined.

The initial adjustment was a shock to all involved, including the neighbors who’d signed a petition to keep us out. The man who lived across the street helped me understand a father’s protectiveness of his daughter. He threatened to kill me if the fellow housemate who was unable to speak due to his cerebral palsy “touched” his daughter. I told him to keep his son from throwing rocks at the gentleman.

Judy taught us the difference between being a “house parent” and being Mom and Dad, which helped us raise our own two children. She tried our patience but earned our love. One of the most trying moments came after I made the mistake of telling her she could buy a record player when her “lifetime savings” arrived from the state institution. When the money arrived, it was only enough to go to a matinee movie. So Judy was none too happy when we went to the movie. She let out her frustration on the movie, repeatedly saying, “Shut up, movie.”

While that embarrassed me, I later delighted in doing things that embarrassed my children. Today, living in North Carolina, I find myself embarrassed by our state government. It seems that my whole life, I’ve been taught to fear the boogeyman. As I’ve come to know people with “differences,” however, I’ve come to see the commonality in us, rather than the differences.

Judy did eventually adjust to living in our community. She became known and appreciated by many, even those in the neighborhood. She taught me that we can all overcome our fear and live together. Thank you, Judy, for teaching me not to fear someone with a label of transgender or to define people solely by one characteristic. Like Judy, I wish to overcome my fears.

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Redemption Song by Bob Marley

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our mind
Wo! Have no fear for atomic energy
‘Cause none of them-a can-a stop-a the time

How long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look?
Yes, some say it’s just a part of it
We’ve got to fulfill the book

Won’t you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
‘Cause all I ever had
Redemption songs
All I ever had
Redemption songs
These songs of freedom
Songs of freedom