Sunday, February 28, 2016

Shirl: You Had Me at Hello




I find it somewhat ironic that the line from the movie Jerry Maguire that I believe epitomizes the Millennial generation and symbolizes the implications of the digital age — “You had me at hello”— would remind me of someone dead, but not gone.

Jerry Maguire: [babbling and struggling] I love you. You... you complete me. And I just...

Dorothy: Shut up, [pause] Dorothy: just shut up. [Pause] Dorothy: You had me at "hello". You had me at "hello".

Just like a line of dialog can live on from a movie, Shirl lives on in my heart. My mother-in-law Shirl came to live near us in West Virginia when she was unable to care for herself due to Alzheimer’s disease. During this time, I’d call her every week to arrange a trip to the grocery store.

It was never a hardship. Since I loved visiting the grocery store and I loved Shirl, what could be a better way to spend a few hours of my weekend? When I’d call her to arrange a time to pick her up, she’d always say, “Hi, Ian!” in such a warm, welcoming, loving, accepting way that I would simply melt.

Shirl replaced my mother, who had died in 1991, in my life at that time, and I replaced her sons, who lived far away in California. Not that I’d ever forget my mother or she her sons; we just found comfort in each other’s company that extended beyond our physical presence. I loved the way Shirl marveled at the beauty of the cloud formations — because of her disease, she experienced them as if for the first time. She reacted in a similar manner to something ordinary each week. It was a revelation.

I was touched by her beauty, acceptance and sense of wonder. I want to be like Shirl: to see beauty, to live with a sense of wonder and to accept myself and others. I want to be able to forgive and forget when applicable. Thank you, Shirl, for showing me the way.

In case you need reminding, beauty is judged by the qualities in a person that exalts the mind or spirit; wonder is a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, often caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar or inexplicable; and acceptance is the act of taking or receiving something offered. If you can forgive and forget, you both pardon and hold no resentment concerning a past event.

Behind this good writer is a great editor; Mark Bloom. Learn more about Mark's talents at 

I Will Always Love you, lyrics by Dolly Parton

And I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I, I will always love you
You, darling, I love you


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